It’s been on my mind that some of us as Black Muslim Girls and Women are, to our own detriment, self-sacrificing; and often we do so for people who would not reciprocate. Conditioned by our upbringing and reinforced by society’s pressures we become the sacrificial lamb to everyone else’s needs and wants, and we call it “being strong,” or we call it “taking care of our own.” But, who’s taking care of us?
Some of us are raised “to be seen, not heard,” and are physically and emotionally punished for being ourselves out loud, with ridicule and belittling along with the slaps and punches, and all other offenses to our bodies.
As adults, many of us continue living like this, allowing emotional mistreatment and physical harm by insecure men, whom we choose to allow into our lives. Our adulthood is reflective of our acceptance of the abusive men and boys from our childhood.
Step back and self-reflect. As El-Hajj Malik Shabazz, (Malcolm X) once said, “The most disrespected woman in America, is the Black woman. The most unprotected person in America is the Black woman. The most neglected person in America is the Black woman.” There’s more to what he said, that’s almost always left out, and that is that Islam teaches men they must protect women. Islam also teaches us to protect ourselves, so don’t wait for anyone to come to your rescue. To break the cycle, we have to be strong for Ourselves, take care of Ourselves, believe in Ourselves, value Ourselves, love Ourselves first; and show others how they should treat us.
When we start treating ourselves well, the rest of the world will fall in line. And, if they don’t, who the hell cares because your love for yourself is God’s Love for you. And, with God’s Love, who can truly hurt you? No one of any consequence. Remember, you are divinely LOVED. Nurture yourself the way God does for you. Everyday.